his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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