It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
