Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
