Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Mom said you looked used
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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