My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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