My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
