i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
