kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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