i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
