Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
