I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
