I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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