and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize