: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
