Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
