this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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