that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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