Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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