During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize