yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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