I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize