I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Randomize
