Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's like heaven, but drunker
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
