her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
