I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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