she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
