I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
