Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
