Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
