i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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