im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
