Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I smell stomach acid.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
