2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
