Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
