singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dicks are not precious.
Congratulations! We have a period
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
