That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
