last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
