"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
