Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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