Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
