question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
