I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
