yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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