I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
