the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You took a bar mat shot.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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