So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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