it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
