I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
