we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
