i was born a porn star she said
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize