her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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