Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
