sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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