my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
