when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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