I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
