I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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