I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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