Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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