This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
