Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
