I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
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Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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