Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize