I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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